All humans encounter many victories and defeats; however, the most difficult battle is with ourselves. This is the hardest battle because no one can help you. Friends and family can only persuade you to make the right decision. I remember a time when I had to make a difficult decision; my family and friends were motivating me to learn how to drive. I was under a lot of stress because driving terrified me and I was unable to make a decision. I made up many excuses in order to avoid my first driving lesson, but I eventually could not think of anymore.
“Snow season is over” my mother exclaimed excitedly. My mother's excitement puzzled me, since the snow would eventually melt away. “Who cares?” I asked in a confused manner, but that was when it struck me. I had promised my parents that I would be willing to take my first driving lesson when the snow had melted. Fear coursed through my veins and I was having trouble with breathing. I went to watch television, but all the channels were about cars. I had forgotten that there was a NASCAR race occuring that day. As I was watching the cars race each other and colliding into the wall, the memories of my brother’s careless driving entered my head.
My fear of driving was established while looking at the pictures of my parents’ old car. It was smashed, crushed and deformed in a way that it was classified as “totalled”. My brother had driven the car at night and he crashed into another car. No one was hurt; but I could imagine the danger as a car crashes into me and the car closes in while crushing my bones. Ever since that accident, I knew that driving would be dangerous. Not only would I be in danger, but I will also be responsible for my passengers’ safety. The responsibility of someone else’s life would be too stressful for me. Luckily my first lesson was a week from now; I had lots of time to prepare for the deathtrap that I was to be placed in.
During that week at school, I asked all my friends how driving was. They all said it was fun and that I would be missing all the excitement if I did not try it. The only excitement for me was to be finished with my lesson as soon as possible. I was trying to hide my fear, but I had one friend that could see the fear in my eyes. Patrick was a close friend of mine, he sympathized me because he had felt the same way before. He told me the necessities of driving and some tips that would help me mentally. This talk had relaxed my muscles and I felt safer about driving a car. Patrick told me to not worry about the details of driving and that was when he told me the three words I needed to hear. “Believe in yourself”. These words motivated me. I felt rejuvenated and the fear was quickly evaporating away. I was determined to get through this lesson until the day I was dreading finally arrived.
That Saturday was a gloomy day and there was an unpleasant chill in my bones. My driving instructor was a nice man and he reassured me that I would be safe. I forced a smile and I decided to hide my terror. I was driven to a remote area and was explained the rules of driving and the setup of the driver’s seat. I was told to take the wheel and drive down the street. As I was switching seats with the instructor, my legs began to tremble. I slowly walked toward the driver’s seat and opened the door. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and I felt claustrophobic on the seat. My palms were sweating as I gripped on the steering wheel and my lungs were grasping for oxygen. As my foot made contact with the pedal, the car jerked forward. I immediately stepped on the brake and tried bring my breathing rate to normal. The next time I stepped on the pedal, I lightly applied pressure on it. The car began to move forward slowly.
"This isn't so bad" I thought in my head, yet my arms still remained stiff. I tried to relax my arms many times in order to avoid the soreness that would inevitably haunt me afterwards. After every time I tried to relax them at a stoplight; the arms would immediately stiffen when I began to move. I had defeated my fear of driving and I felt safe driving on a main street. When the second hour of done, I was relieved to go home. My arms felt tired; but I was excited about my next lesson.
My fight against driving began when a serious accident occurred in my life. I did not feel safe being in a dangerous environment where I was responsible for other people’s lives. I had to fight this fear alone; however, I had many people who supported me. Without the help of Patrick, I would not have the motivation to overcome this fear and eventually drive. Also, if my driving instructor had not reassured my safety, I would have been too scared to move the car. Throughout this whole battle I had to remain positive, or else I would not be able to have an enjoyable time during my first lesson. This self conflict was a long and agonizing road, but I managed to drive past it.
